I hate saying I'm busy. I hate saying I'm stressed. And I get extremely annoyed when other people say that - is there anything more boring than listening to someone else talk about how busy they are? Mindy Kaling has a great quote in Is Everyone Hanging Out Without Me, "I do not think stress is a legitimate topic of conversation, in public anyway. No one ever wants to hear how stressed out anyone else is, because most of the time everyone is stressed out. Going on and on in detail about how stressed out I am isn't conversation. It'll never lead anywhere. No one is going to say, "Wow, Mindy, you really have it especially bad. I have heard some stories of stress, but this just takes the cake.”
So I don't love the "hustle harder OMG I am so ~busy~" culture. And yet I feel weirdly guilty about not having "time" recently to write here. I put time in quotations because I do have time. I have 24 hours each day, just like everyone else. I simply choose to fill it with: 8+ hours of sleep every night, a workout every morning, walking Rex, reading for at least a few minutes in the morning and evening, and time with Pat, on top of my workday. We all have time. We just prioritize that time differently. Which is ok!
I like to look at it as seasons, like we do with nutrition and weight lifting/competing. I'm in a season that is busier with work and therefore I have less time to devote to my little creative outlet (because the other things listed above have been filling up my cup more). I'm still journaling for therapy, albeit a bit less, which I think can be looked at as a good thing in terms of my recovery progress. Do I still think about the infidelity everyday? Yes. But it's more fleeting; I can recognize the triggers and the stories I'm telling myself. All of the mantras apply: steady as she goes, I will be ok, ups & downs.
I'm still here and I'm grateful if you are still here too! Hope you're having a good week and that you are not feeling *too* stressed.